It aint gonna rain no more |
Mary had a little Lamb,
She fed it castor oil,
And everywhere that
Mary went
it fertilized the soil.
Chorus:
It aint gonna rain no more no more,
It aint gonna rain
no more,
But how the hell can the old folks tell
That it aint gonna rain
no more.
Mary had a little watch
She swallowed it one day
And so she took some
castor oil
To pass the time away.
The castor oil it did not work
The watch refused to pass,
So if you
want to know the time,
Just look up ... at the clock.
Chorus:
It aint gonna rain no more no more,
It aint gonna rain
no more,
So how the heck can I wash my neck
If the soap's in the house
next door.
Mary had a little Lamb,
It followed her to school,
They tied a brick
around its neck
And drowned it in the pool.
Mary had a little Lamb,
Her father shot it dead,
She still takes the
lamb to school
Between two bits of bread.
Mary had a little Lamb,
You've heard that tale before,
But have you
heard she passed her plate
And had a little more.
Mary had a little lamb
She tied it to a pylon
10 000 volts shot up
its leg
And turned its wool to nylon
Mary had an little lamb
It danced in skips and hops,
It danced into
the road one day
And ended up as chops
Mary had a little lamb
She also had a bear
I've often seen her little
lamb
But I've never seen her bear.
Mary had a little dress
Its seam was split up high
And every where
that Mary went
The boys could see her thigh
Mary had another dress
Its seam was split up front
But she never wore
that one!
Mary had a little lamb
The doctor was surprised
But when Old McDonald
had a farm
He couldn't believe his eyes
Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was black as soot
And everywhere
that Mary went
Its sooty foot he put.
Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white as snow
Maar 'n ram het
die lam gevang
En kyk hoe lyk hy nou!
They sat upon the grassy bank
And she was all a-quiver...
He undid
her suspender belt
And her leg fell into the river!
Mary had a little lamb
and tied it to the heater,
every time it
turned around
it burned its little peter!
Mary had a little Lamb,
She took it to the zoo,
It got raped by an
elephant
And had a kangaroo.
Mary had a little lamb
She ate it with mint sauce
And everywhere that
Mary went
The lamb went too, of course
Mary is a proper girl,
She goes to church on Sundays.
She prays that
she will have the strength,
To chase the boys on Mondays.
A peanut sat on a railroad track
His heart was all a-flutter
A chooka
train came round the bend,
TOOT TOOT Peanut butter.
A hen and a chicken went for a walk
Just to stretch their legs,
A
motorcar came round the bend,
TOOT TOOT Ham and eggs.
Oh! the night was dark and dreary,
The air was full of sleet,
The old
man stood out in the storm,
His shoes were full of feet.
Oh! Mosquito he fly high,
Mosquito he fly low,
If old man 'Skeeta
light on me,
He ain't gonna fly no more.
Oh, of all the fishes in the sea,
My favorite is the bass,
He climbs
up in the seaweed trees,
And slides down on his hands and knees.
An old man lay down by a sewer
And by a sewer he died.
Now, at the
coroner's request,
They called it sewer-side.
A golf ball sailin' thru the air,
Whizzed by a man a hummin'
He heard
a caddy holler, "Fore!"
An' he thought three more were comin'.
"The way to tell the twins apart,"
The proud father said,
"I put my
finger in Willie's mouth,
If he bites it, then it's Ned."
When boating, never quarrel,
For you'll find, without a doubt,
A boat
is not the proper place
To have a falling out.
"The coffee is exhausted, Sir."
The diner was advised.
Says he, "It's
been so weak of late,
I'm really not surprised."
There's a gal up in the hills,
She's awfully shy and meek,
She
undresses in the dark
Because the mountains peak.
Mary had a steamboat;
The steamboat had a bell.
Mary went to heaven,
The steamboat went "Toot, toot."
Said baby tern to mother tern,
"Can I have a brother."
"Yes" said mom
to baby tern,
"One good tern deserves another."
Oh for a home where the buffalo roam,
Where the deer and the antelope play.
Where seldon is heard a discouraging word,
For what can an antelope say?