Party pieces |
Star Trekking, across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under
Captain Kirk.
Star Trekking, across the universe,
Boldly going forward,
'cause we can't find reverse.
Lt. Uhura, report!
Uhura: There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
Jim.
Analysis, Mr. Spock!
Spock: It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know
it, Captain.
Medical update, Doctor McCoy!
McCoy: It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim. Dead,
Jim.
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim, Dead.
Starship Captain, James T. Kirk!
Kirk: Ha-ha! We come in peace, shoot to kill,
shoot to kill, shoot
to kill.
We come in peace, shoot to kill,
shoot to kill, men.
Engineer, Mister Scott!
Scotty: Ye canna change the laws of physics,
laws of physics, laws
of physics!
Ye canna change the laws of physics,
laws of physics, yet
[Repeat verses, sing as a round, chorus, etc...]
Na..na..na..na..na..Na..na..na
Na..na..na,
Na..na..na
Na..na..na..na..na..Na..na..na
Na..na..na, Na
Star Trekking, across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under
Captain Kirk!
Star Trekking, across the universe,
Boldly going forward,
and things are getting worse!
If I was not upon the stage one place I'd rather be...
If I was not upon
the stage,
A policeman I would be.
I'd sing my song, all day
long,
"Hey, You, Get off my street!"
If I was not upon the stage one place I'd rather be...
If I was not upon
the stage,
A gym teacher I would be.
I'd sing my song, all day
long,
"Up and up and do-o-o-wn!"
"Hey, You, Get off my street!"
If I was not upon the stage one place I'd rather be...
If I was not upon
the stage,
An engineer I would be.
"Two feet by four feet,
Bam-Bam-Bam!"
"Up and up and do-o-o-wn!"
"Hey, You, Get off my
street!"
A gardener I would be
"Dig a hole, plant a seed, wait until it grows"
A waitress I would be
"Here's your food, here's your drink, here's a bag,
Oops!"
A painter I would be
"Here's a pot, here's a brush, slap it on the door"
[Tom Lehrer]
Be prepared! That's the Boy Scout's marching song,
Be prepared! As
through life you march along.
Be prepared to hold your liquor pretty well,
Don't write naughty words on walls if you can't spell.
Be prepared! To
hide that pack of cigarettes,
Don't make book if you cannot cover bets.
Keep that pot hidden where you're sure that it will not be found,
And be
careful not to turn on when the scoutmaster's around,
For he only will
insist that it be shared.
Be prepared!
Be prepared! That's the Boy Scouts' solemn creed,
Be prepared! And be
clean in word and deed.
Don't solicit for your sister, that's not nice,
Unless you get a good percentage of the price.
Be prepared! And be careful not to do
Your good deeds when there's no one
watching you.
If you're looking for adventure of a new and different kind,
And you come across a Girl Scout who is similarly inclined,
Don't be
nervous, don't be flustered, don't be scared.
Be prepared!
When I was a little biddy boy,
Just up off the floor,
We used to go
down to grandma's house,
Every month end or so.
We'd have chicken pie,
country ham,
Home-made butter on the bread,
But the best darn thing
about grandma's house
Was the great big feather bed.
CHORUS
It was nine feet high, six feet wide,
Soft as a downy
chick,
It was made of the feathers of four-eleven geese
And a whole roll
of cloth for the tick.
It could hold eight kids, four hound dogs
And the
piggy that we stole from the shed,
Didn't get much sleep but we had a lot of
fun
In grandma's feather bed.
After supper we'd sit around the fire,
The old folks spit and chew,
Pa would talk about the farm in the war
And Grandma sing a ballad or
two.
Well I'd sit and listen and watch the fire
Till the cobwebs filled
my head,
Next thing I knew I'd wake up in the morning
In the middle of
the old feather bed.
Now I love my Ma, I love my Pa,
I love Grannie and Grampa too,
Been
fishing with my uncle, wrestled with my cousin
And even kissed Aunt Sue.
(Foo.)
But if I ever had to make a choice,
I think it oughta be said
That I'd trade them all plus the girl down the road
For Grandma's
feather bed.
(Well, maybe not the girl down the road.)